Blonde Blusters: January 2014

Monday, January 27, 2014

You can tell me that you're anxious,
you wonder what is next.
Right now you don't know anything, or what you should expect.

You can tell me that reality's made you sad,
your expectations have surpassed it.
But is what's right in front of you really just that bad?

You can tell me that you're happy,
somebody makes you smile,
so much you're getting married in a little while.

But...

You can't tell me you love me
and make it sound routine.
I'd rather be ignored than be told what you don't mean.

Friday, January 17, 2014

Five Relevant Fun Facts for January

I've decided to work on my self-image, and an easy way to do that is to promote the positive instead of dwelling on the supposed negative. Therefore, once a month I will do a random five-fact post relevant to that particular moment.

1. I really love the movie First Wives Club, especially the song "You don't own me" performed by Bette Midler, Goldie Hawn, and Diane Keaton.

2. I'm obsessed with the song "Let It Go" from the new Disney movie Frozen, both the Idina Menzel version and the Demi Lovato version.

3. In the last 7 days, I've attended a muscle definition class, Zumba, and a BodyCombat class.

4. Had a classmate compliment me to my instructor (who is also my boss)!

5. Made my coworker Josh laugh so hard that he asked if he could frame my statement (no, I will not tell you what I said).

Thursday, January 16, 2014

The Dark Side

I consider myself an honest, authentic, and genuine person. I'm a kind-hearted, compassionate, and caring individual. I don't do things out of malice or wish bad things upon people.

Yet....
about 5% of my personality is dark, aka my dark side.

When I'm alone with my thoughts and writing my novels, I often need to relive the dark parts of my memory in order to deal with the situation. Unfortunately, all the negativity resurfaces and I feel things that I certainly would rather not relive.

Usually it takes a few hours for those residual feelings to evaporate from my present spectrum, but it always bothers me when they linger.

A few years back, a girl I'd befriended truly wronged me. She left deep emotional scars that I'd thought I'd gotten over. When I say deep, I mean seriously deep. This girl and her torment landed me in therapy, both one-on-one and group.

She made my life miserable because she thought she could. Her excuse was that since I had picked her to be my friend and not the other way around, she could treat me as she pleased.

I'm embarrassed to say that I was such a doormat, I let her think it was okay to treat me like crap. But one day when she told me via text message that she was going to kill herself, I was there for her. She repaid me months later by costing me my job.

I've never really thought of myself as a hateful person, but this person brings out the absolute worst in me. I feel so much hate at the sight of her, and relish the day I can confront her with a severely overdue verbal lashing of the nastiest nature.

But then I think, "Jeez, this is petty."

I'm not 20 years old anymore.

I'm Lindsey, a 24-yr-old educated, cultured, and artistic individual.

I genuinely love people solely because they make me smile.

I don't discriminate against anyone for any reason.

I have a good heart, which is how I can recognize that I am so much better than the person she makes me feel like. I don't need to prove that to anyone, especially to her.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Graduate School Update

I officially submitted my application for the M.Ed Student Affairs program last month.

It's a great story about how I came to decide on this program, so gather around!

Back in 2010, I was deciding on my post undergraduate plans. I had just submitted my application for the MS in Political Science Program, and was ready for a life in the world of Politics.

However, I was not admitted into the program and headed to DC to do an internship instead. As much as I enjoyed the work experience, it wasn't the type of lifestyle I was ready to live.

Anyway, flash forward 2yrs. I'm working in University College at the U as a receptionist, and realizing that I really loved the idea of having a career in the academic advising field. After doing a bit of research, I realized that in order to have a good shot at a career in anything having to do with college students, the M.Ed program for Educational Leadership and Policy was something to look into.

I began my preparation in July, while I was trying to determine who would write me an academic reference letter, I ran into a few dead ends with my former professors. I ended up taking a course in the program as a non-matriculated student and asking my instructor to write my letter. I needed two more letters, so I asked the Associate Dean from Humanities to write my second letter (she had overseen the Humanities House while I lived there), and the Associate Dead of University College (I needed an employer to endorse me as well).

Letters done. Next up was writing my personal statement.

I asked a colleague in my office to assist me in writing my statement, and we spent a good six weeks writing and four drafts later we had the finished product.

Then it was time for the writing samples. There were two essays that needed to be written answering two separate questions. I wrote my drafts meticulously, and asked another colleague to look them over. She gave me a lot of feedback and I worked on my next drafts. I emailed them over to Bryce and he gave me some more feedback. Finally, one more colleague gave me some feedback, and they essays were ready.

Last month, I finalized my online application, submitted all my documents, and paid the application fee. I was pretty excited to have completed every piece on my end, and all that was left was to find out about the timeline. I called the department and asked how long after the application deadline before the selection committee decided on the new cohort. I was informed that the decision would be made by the end of February.

So, now you're all up to speed on my graduate school shenanigans. I also started another course this semester to further prepare me for the content of the program, a course being taught by my boss. Wish me luck, keep your fingers crossed, etc.