Hi, this is Sam, Lindsey's fiancé.
I decided to do a guest post today so everyone can hear my side of our love story.
I say we met at a speed dating activity last year. She claims it was before that. Either way, at that activity the guys were told to form a circle and have the girls go and pick a guy to start talking to. She chose me because I was a familiar face. I didn't complain. I believed I asked where she lived and had her describe to me where she was from (and I pride myself on knowing where everything is). I also asked her what her favorite fruit is, which is raspberries. After that, we rotated and meet some other people. Some of you are probably thinking that I'm going to say that this was love at first sight. Not at all. She wasn't on my radar before or after this activity at all.
After that activity, we started talking more at church. I would ask her how her favorite Sam was doing (she met him at that activity and they started dating) and joke with her that I was her second favorite Sam. Fast forward a few months later when they broke up. I felt sorry for her because she was hurting, but still had no desire to ask her out. After awhile, she was fairly flirtatious with me and I thought that she might like me. I wondered if I should ask her out (yes, we guys are fairly clueless sometimes).
Well, after a few more weeks of that and with some badgering from Haley, we decided to go out. By we, I mean she asked me to go the Yellowcard concert in November at The Complex. I had never been to a rock concert, and was looking forward to attending one. I learned two things that night; she makes a good sandwich, and that I don't fit in with the rock concert crowd due to my conservative appearance. She made me a sandwich for dinner because I usually work late on Wednesdays, and we wouldn't have time to go out for food. The concert wasn't very good at all, but that didn't matter because I spent time with a friend.
I went home for Thanksgiving two weeks later, and was really happy to finally tell my uncles that I was interested in someone and we had scheduled another date. That was the easiest I had ever gotten off at a Thanksgiving for years!
Over the next six weeks or so, we were spending a lot of time together; we really enjoyed getting to know one another. I knew she wasn't ready to be in another relationship yet, but I just kept making plans with her. When people started asking if we were a couple, I would say that technically we weren't, but that for all intents and purposes, we were.
Then, we went down to BYU for the Divine Comedy Alumni show in January. We were driving down I-15 in Orem when I started talking about what I was telling everyone who asked if we were dating; we were, but not officially. Right then, we decided to be a couple. It was official by the time we got off the freeway at Provo Center Street. Two weeks later, we had talked about spending a whole Saturday together. Not two hours later did I agree to go skiing with two friends that same (while she was sitting next to me!). For the record, she didn't say anything while I was making these plans.
She forgave me on the one condition that I never forgot something like that again.
I never have!
But I felt so bad that after we went skiing in Park City that I went to Fossil and bought her a rose gold watch for Valentine's Day. I knew the watch was a good idea when the first thing she did after I gave it to her was to run upstairs to show her roommates, "Look at what Sam gave me!"
The following month I went home for my brother's mission homecoming. During that time, my dad took me out to lunch, and we talked about things. That's when I realized that I was in love with her. Shortly thereafter, we stopped using an "if" when we talked about marriage and having family and started saying "when."
I bought the ring a few weeks later. I wanted to get her a ring that she could show off to everyone, but the ring she liked didn't grab attention from anyone. I won that discussion, mainly because I designed the ring. The idea behind the design is that, no matter where you look on the ring, your eyes are drawn to the diamond in the center (the diamond is real, by the way).
I knew I had to ask her dad permission before I proposed, so I called him up and set up a time to meet with him. It went really well, and we even managed to bond for a minute.
Early on in our relationship, she had challenged me to surprise her if and when I proposed to her. I took that challenge to heart. I had many ideas going through my head. Everything from having her light a string that then lights a bunch a tea candles that say "Turn around" and I would be on one knee, to her to going up to the capitol and have Haley take pictures of us like the paparazzi do.
I only thought of that because Lindsey insisted on having pictures taken of the proposal. That was the direction I was going in until the diamond came in. Then, I couldn't stop looking at it so I decided I needed to hurry up and propose. I had told everyone at work that I was going to propose to her that night at the Cinderella opera (Cendrillon). My supervisor kept on joking with me that there was some very important project that only I could do so I had to stay and work on it all that night.
I was not amused.
Lindsey drove that night so I was waiting in my living room freaking out that I was going to propose to her that night. My roommates told me I needed to practice on them. After much hesitation, Jordan convinced me to practice proposing to Adam. That was very awkward. Luckily, she arrived soon thereafter. When we got to the opera, I saw that she was wearing a fake ring. I stole it from her just before the show started. During the whole first act, I was really struggling with nervousness, so much so that I had a hard time focusing on the opera itself.
She wasn't expecting to be proposed to until the ring came in a few weeks later (hence my being able to surprise her with a filler ring). During the intermission, we went over to talk to her friend Shalee, and I asked her to take some pictures of us with my nice camera (because all the ones we had on Facebook were taken with Lindsey's phone and were pretty grainy). So, while she was taking pictures of us, I took out the ring and set it on Lindsey's shoulder so the camera could see it but she could not.
Then, I turned around, got down on one knee, and asked her to marry me. She stood there and stared at the ring for two or three seconds, and I started to wonder what was happening. Should I ask her again? But then I saw it click, and she reacted like I thought she would.
She did say yes, by the way.
We then embraced and we heard a spontaneous applause from the people behind us.
So, that is how I asked her to marry me.
I've had my fair share of doubts and second guesses, but then the small things happen and reassure me that this is the right thing to do. Like when we went down to the Studio C taping in Provo. She loves Matt Meese, and after he came out onstage she got very excited and kept moving in her chair like she was going to charge the set. I was afraid she might leave me for him, so I grabbed her hand to keep her next to me (and accidentally gave her a bruise in the process). I think if I'm that worried about not having her around for even a moment of time, then marriage is truly the right decision for us.
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
Butterflies
I've got a thing for butterflies and infinity signs. Coincidentally, I have butterflies in my stomach due to the fact that I'm intertwining my infinity with someone else's.
It finally hit me today as I was making a (yet another) list. We are moving the rest of Sam's furniture into the apartment this weekend, as well as buying our bed, so I needed to know what I had left to do this week. See below:
It finally hit me today as I was making a (yet another) list. We are moving the rest of Sam's furniture into the apartment this weekend, as well as buying our bed, so I needed to know what I had left to do this week. See below:
- Prepare living room for couch and dining room table
- Finish vacuuming
- Organize desk
- Mail thank-you notes from friend bridal shower
- Grocery Shopping
- Get Gas
- Go to the bank
- Laundry
- Lunch with friends
- Babysit cousins
- Family bridal shower
- Meeting with the Bishop
Oh boy, I don't know why it took so long for it finally hit me that this is happening! Maybe it's because we are meeting with the Bishop ;)
I'm so excited though. The idea that he's who I'm going home to at the end of the day, or that we get to continue to have crazy adventures, or that we're starting the next chapter of our lives is finally sinking in.
So, butterflies.
flutter-flutter
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Dear Friend...
I've decided to capitalize on my emotions today and write a letter to a very dear friend of mine. It will be very emotionally charged, but vague. Due to the intensity of the "feels," I've decided to protect her identity and simply refer to her as "friend."
Dear Friend,
I realize that life must seem a bit miserable right now, so I'd like to remind you of the difference you've made in my life.
I was younger when we met, not quite a child, but certainly not grown-up. I remember learning and growing, completely oblivious to the fact that you were always watching. You've given me many gifts in my life, but I think the most important has been the ability to understand; understanding my family, my friends, my testimony, my life, etc.
You've always been there for me when I needed someone. I always felt welcomed and loved in your home. I watched your family grow, and loved your children like I would my own. You've shared so many of the small moments with me, and those moments are priceless and cannot be replicated. I'm honored to have been a part of your history.
I still don't understand how someone can share so much love with another person. I could try to pinpoint the reason why the Lord crossed our paths, but I feel that would devalue all the history we have left to write. Your love inspires me so much; I watch how you love your children, your husband, and so many of your friends, and I'm so lucky to feel that love.
You are one of the best friends I've ever had, and I look forward to being friends for much, much longer in this lifetime.
Words cannot properly articulate just how much I love you, and how blessed I feel to have you in my life. You are SO amazing; I know for a fact that the world is a brighter place because you are in it, doing what you are doing, and loving everyone so very much.
What would I do without that amazing inspiration?
Anyway, I love you forever and ever!
Your friend,
Lindsey
Dear Friend,
I realize that life must seem a bit miserable right now, so I'd like to remind you of the difference you've made in my life.
I was younger when we met, not quite a child, but certainly not grown-up. I remember learning and growing, completely oblivious to the fact that you were always watching. You've given me many gifts in my life, but I think the most important has been the ability to understand; understanding my family, my friends, my testimony, my life, etc.
You've always been there for me when I needed someone. I always felt welcomed and loved in your home. I watched your family grow, and loved your children like I would my own. You've shared so many of the small moments with me, and those moments are priceless and cannot be replicated. I'm honored to have been a part of your history.
I still don't understand how someone can share so much love with another person. I could try to pinpoint the reason why the Lord crossed our paths, but I feel that would devalue all the history we have left to write. Your love inspires me so much; I watch how you love your children, your husband, and so many of your friends, and I'm so lucky to feel that love.
You are one of the best friends I've ever had, and I look forward to being friends for much, much longer in this lifetime.
Words cannot properly articulate just how much I love you, and how blessed I feel to have you in my life. You are SO amazing; I know for a fact that the world is a brighter place because you are in it, doing what you are doing, and loving everyone so very much.
What would I do without that amazing inspiration?
Anyway, I love you forever and ever!
Your friend,
Lindsey
Thursday, June 18, 2015
White Lace
White lace is very traditional, which is why I wore it for our engagement photo shoot. It is also what my wedding gown is made out of; I definitely took a traditional route for material, but not as much for the style. Anyway, Sam is adamant that he not see the dress before the wedding, hence the blog post. Please enjoy our digital announcement along with some of the bridal highlights.
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
remember when...
I don't know what's up with me lately. I'm feeling very nostalgic, circumstantially depressed at times, emotionally overwhelmed, head-over-heels in love, ridiculously sad some nights, and even a little stuck in my life.
Life is complicated, but hasn't it always been though?
Like when I was an undergrad living on-campus in 2010-2011. I had the best roommate in the world, friends I saw every day, Glee Season Two was airing, my best friend lived within walking distance, the kids were toddlers, and it felt like life had endless possibilities.
My daily tasks were to get ready for the day without waking Natalie, go to class, go to work, do my homework, attempt a trip to the grocery store, watch Glee with Janean, and spend time with Romney. Bubby was still alive and called me every few days to check in. The kids were 2 and 4yrs old, and our babysitting nights consisted of long walks around Sugarhouse, movie night, story time, and bedtime snuggles. Max firmly believed that I wasn't allowed to get married without his permission, and Kate was adamant that she didn't need to be my friend. I was about to be 21, and I supposedly had the world at my feet.
I remember worrying about life after college; would I find a job, would I end up back at my parents' house, would I ever find someone to have a romantic relationship with, would I ever go back to church, and why did the world feel so full of people but still so lonely?
Now, at 25, I realize that my daily tasks aren't much different. I work full-time during the day, attend grad school classes in the evening, do my homework, watch Studio C clips when I need a pick-me-up, and spend most of my free time with Sam. Bubby is gone, so I call my mom to check in, sometimes Tyler, and even Ian if I miss him. The kids are now 6 and 8yrs old, and are more interested in watching TV than playing a game or doing a puzzle with their cos-sister (aka their cousin who is like their sister). Supposedly, I still have the world at my feet, and now I am supposed to decide what to do with my life.
I remember when Sam and I went on our first date last November. I never would have guessed that we would get engaged 6 1/2 months later. I never would have thought that I'd be getting my MRS before my MA. I never thought I'd be designing my capstone project during the week and planning my wedding on my lunch break.
There isn't a whole lot left to wonder about; except for my babies :) and how I'm going to leave my mark on the world.
So, regardless of the nostalgia, depressive bouts, overwhelming feelings of love, and emotions, I remember when I looked to the future as if it were a checklist of things that needed to be done. But it isn't really a checklist, it's an endless account of my adventures to come. It isn't what I have to do, it's everything I can't wait to do, things to learn, places to go, experiences to have, etc.
Remember when things were simple? Not me!
Life is complicated, but hasn't it always been though?
Like when I was an undergrad living on-campus in 2010-2011. I had the best roommate in the world, friends I saw every day, Glee Season Two was airing, my best friend lived within walking distance, the kids were toddlers, and it felt like life had endless possibilities.
My daily tasks were to get ready for the day without waking Natalie, go to class, go to work, do my homework, attempt a trip to the grocery store, watch Glee with Janean, and spend time with Romney. Bubby was still alive and called me every few days to check in. The kids were 2 and 4yrs old, and our babysitting nights consisted of long walks around Sugarhouse, movie night, story time, and bedtime snuggles. Max firmly believed that I wasn't allowed to get married without his permission, and Kate was adamant that she didn't need to be my friend. I was about to be 21, and I supposedly had the world at my feet.
I remember worrying about life after college; would I find a job, would I end up back at my parents' house, would I ever find someone to have a romantic relationship with, would I ever go back to church, and why did the world feel so full of people but still so lonely?
Now, at 25, I realize that my daily tasks aren't much different. I work full-time during the day, attend grad school classes in the evening, do my homework, watch Studio C clips when I need a pick-me-up, and spend most of my free time with Sam. Bubby is gone, so I call my mom to check in, sometimes Tyler, and even Ian if I miss him. The kids are now 6 and 8yrs old, and are more interested in watching TV than playing a game or doing a puzzle with their cos-sister (aka their cousin who is like their sister). Supposedly, I still have the world at my feet, and now I am supposed to decide what to do with my life.
I remember when Sam and I went on our first date last November. I never would have guessed that we would get engaged 6 1/2 months later. I never would have thought that I'd be getting my MRS before my MA. I never thought I'd be designing my capstone project during the week and planning my wedding on my lunch break.
There isn't a whole lot left to wonder about; except for my babies :) and how I'm going to leave my mark on the world.
So, regardless of the nostalgia, depressive bouts, overwhelming feelings of love, and emotions, I remember when I looked to the future as if it were a checklist of things that needed to be done. But it isn't really a checklist, it's an endless account of my adventures to come. It isn't what I have to do, it's everything I can't wait to do, things to learn, places to go, experiences to have, etc.
Remember when things were simple? Not me!
Thursday, June 11, 2015
MAT 602 is over!!!
High-ho the dairy-oh!
Intro to Education is totally and completely finished, and I'm absolutely ecstatic :)
I loved the class content, totally and completely, don't get me wrong, but I'm thrilled beyond belief that I only have class one night a week until the wedding.
Speaking of the wedding, we're printing our announcements this weekend. We had a lovely photo shoot with Meredith last weekend, and I spent a good few hours sifting through the 500+ photos to find some up to printing-quality. We had so many great pics, but I was going to be especially particular with my choice for the announcement.
I've got this concept in my mind that the choices I make have to reflect my underlying goal of being classy, so I knew I was being overly critical as I scrolled through my favorites.
I had been on the fence about designing the announcements myself for awhile; I didn't want to obsess about it, but I had very specific guidelines I wanted to stay in. I ended up doing it myself. Yes, I am that much of a control freak, but I liked having the flexibility to make changes as I saw fit.
Anyway, after my last MAT 602 class session, I finalized the design and plan on placing the order tonight.
Okay, back to MAT 602.
Other than the class being SUPER condensed, I enjoyed the subject immensely. I feel as if I've armed my brain with significant knowledge to help me construct my capstone project this fall. However, I'm very much looking forward to attending FHE for the next five Mondays leading up to our wedding. I've felt so socially deprived for the last month, it's time to remedy that ASAP.
Although, I'm pretty sure that will take care of itself with my bridal showers fast approaching. It's so exciting to check on my registries and see what's been bought already. Let's just say we will be doing a lot of cooking, and I'm looking forward to it.
I can't wait for Sam to move into the apartment with me, and know that he's the one I get to go home to every night :)
Reverting back to MAT 602, it's time to back flip around campus in celebration! Five weeks and two semesters until graduation.
Intro to Education is totally and completely finished, and I'm absolutely ecstatic :)
I loved the class content, totally and completely, don't get me wrong, but I'm thrilled beyond belief that I only have class one night a week until the wedding.
Speaking of the wedding, we're printing our announcements this weekend. We had a lovely photo shoot with Meredith last weekend, and I spent a good few hours sifting through the 500+ photos to find some up to printing-quality. We had so many great pics, but I was going to be especially particular with my choice for the announcement.
I've got this concept in my mind that the choices I make have to reflect my underlying goal of being classy, so I knew I was being overly critical as I scrolled through my favorites.
I had been on the fence about designing the announcements myself for awhile; I didn't want to obsess about it, but I had very specific guidelines I wanted to stay in. I ended up doing it myself. Yes, I am that much of a control freak, but I liked having the flexibility to make changes as I saw fit.
Anyway, after my last MAT 602 class session, I finalized the design and plan on placing the order tonight.
Okay, back to MAT 602.
Other than the class being SUPER condensed, I enjoyed the subject immensely. I feel as if I've armed my brain with significant knowledge to help me construct my capstone project this fall. However, I'm very much looking forward to attending FHE for the next five Mondays leading up to our wedding. I've felt so socially deprived for the last month, it's time to remedy that ASAP.
Although, I'm pretty sure that will take care of itself with my bridal showers fast approaching. It's so exciting to check on my registries and see what's been bought already. Let's just say we will be doing a lot of cooking, and I'm looking forward to it.
I can't wait for Sam to move into the apartment with me, and know that he's the one I get to go home to every night :)
Reverting back to MAT 602, it's time to back flip around campus in celebration! Five weeks and two semesters until graduation.
Monday, June 8, 2015
Shooting Engagements
So this was the weekend to take engagement photos. The weather had been iffy all day long as I went to the hair salon and a baptism. Finally, I was at my parents' house to do laundry and gather some baby pics for our slideshow, and it suddenly started pouring. I was slightly worried that we'd need to reschedule, but it was so on-and-off that I was sure it would clear up for a little while.
I rushed home to get dressed and then picked up Sam so we could go eat dinner before we picked up Meredith. The Capitol Building was bustling; not only were there a ton of tourists, but there was also a wedding. Unfortunately, that meant the inside of the Capitol was closed :( Oh well, now we can shoot inside when it's time to do bridals.
Mere took about 500 photos, and I found about 25 that I liked. We're going to use a bunch of them in our slideshow, but we picked our announcement photo as well as the photo for our guestbook/photo mat so I guess it all worked out!
Please enjoy some of our highlights below :)
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
Perspective
I always debate how personal I want to be whenever I post, part of it's the "do I really want to put this on the internet?" and the other part is privacy for those who are part of the story. This one is pretty particular, so I'll do my best to tell the story while still respecting their privacy.
I've had a handful of romantic relationships in my life, and the fact that I'm getting married shows me that I've learned enough and am ready to make this commitment. Still, I doubt myself a lot by ways of questioning my moves at least three times (before, during, and after) because I want to be sure.
Anyway, I was packing up my room on Friday night when I received a phone call. Victoria and Chris were coming bright and early the next day to help move my stuff into my and Sam's new apartment, and I was just about ready. I put on my jammies, brushed out my hair, and settled into my bed to watch a wedding-themed chick flick. Just as I exhaled a sigh of relief that the week was finally over, my phone started ringing.
It was 10:38pm.
The number didn't have a name attached.
I answered it, and the minute I did, I knew exactly who it was.
It was one of my ex-boyfriends.
He heard I got engaged, and he wanted to congratulate me. My heart softened, a nice change from the anxious panic attacks that usually follow an interaction with him.
"Thank you, I appreciate that."
He continued. He'd literally just walked out of a movie where the protagonist reminded him of himself, highlighting the ugliness of his behaviors. He told me that he was sorry for how he ended things, and that I deserved better than that.
"Thank you, I appreciate that."
I wish I could say that the exchange ended there. I'm sure it isn't easy to admit an error in your ways to someone, regardless of how close you were.
For 45 minutes, the conversation kept circling back to all the reasons why he broke up with me. I was still an unappealing person, despite making a good first impression. He learned a lot from his time with me, for example: don't rush into a relationship, don't prolong it if it doesn't feel right, etc.
My heart sank. Sure, he learned from me, but none of it was positive. Even though my heart had been shattered, I still managed to find remnants of positive in the mess he caused.
Basically, by the time he finally let me hang up, I felt like crap. I realized that the phone call was completely pointless, and all it did was stir up those feelings of anger. I don't appreciate being devalued in any sense, and I certainly don't appreciate someone going out of their way to do it again (weeks, months, or years afterward) just to make themselves feel better.
I was so frustrated.
I knelt on the floor to pray, and begged the Lord to help me find the strength and compassion to move past this. I didn't want to be chained to this anymore; I cried, my poor little heart just couldn't deal with this again. All I wanted to do was call Sam and tell him what had just happened. I reached for the phone, but my hand froze in mid-air.
Sam.
He was the only opinion that really mattered now. He isn't cruel with me. He isn't anything like this other guy. He is beyond special, and of amazing value, especially to me.
Sam.
The One. He who asked me to be his wife because he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He who wants to have a family with me. Me. I'm special to him.
In that moment, I knew that no past relationship compared to the one I was in. That he is the one I'm going to spend forever with. I felt a wave of comfort wash over me, and was hit with just how much love and trust I've put in this man. I've got him, and that's all I wanted.
He's the One.
I've had a handful of romantic relationships in my life, and the fact that I'm getting married shows me that I've learned enough and am ready to make this commitment. Still, I doubt myself a lot by ways of questioning my moves at least three times (before, during, and after) because I want to be sure.
Anyway, I was packing up my room on Friday night when I received a phone call. Victoria and Chris were coming bright and early the next day to help move my stuff into my and Sam's new apartment, and I was just about ready. I put on my jammies, brushed out my hair, and settled into my bed to watch a wedding-themed chick flick. Just as I exhaled a sigh of relief that the week was finally over, my phone started ringing.
It was 10:38pm.
The number didn't have a name attached.
I answered it, and the minute I did, I knew exactly who it was.
It was one of my ex-boyfriends.
He heard I got engaged, and he wanted to congratulate me. My heart softened, a nice change from the anxious panic attacks that usually follow an interaction with him.
"Thank you, I appreciate that."
He continued. He'd literally just walked out of a movie where the protagonist reminded him of himself, highlighting the ugliness of his behaviors. He told me that he was sorry for how he ended things, and that I deserved better than that.
"Thank you, I appreciate that."
I wish I could say that the exchange ended there. I'm sure it isn't easy to admit an error in your ways to someone, regardless of how close you were.
For 45 minutes, the conversation kept circling back to all the reasons why he broke up with me. I was still an unappealing person, despite making a good first impression. He learned a lot from his time with me, for example: don't rush into a relationship, don't prolong it if it doesn't feel right, etc.
My heart sank. Sure, he learned from me, but none of it was positive. Even though my heart had been shattered, I still managed to find remnants of positive in the mess he caused.
Basically, by the time he finally let me hang up, I felt like crap. I realized that the phone call was completely pointless, and all it did was stir up those feelings of anger. I don't appreciate being devalued in any sense, and I certainly don't appreciate someone going out of their way to do it again (weeks, months, or years afterward) just to make themselves feel better.
I was so frustrated.
I knelt on the floor to pray, and begged the Lord to help me find the strength and compassion to move past this. I didn't want to be chained to this anymore; I cried, my poor little heart just couldn't deal with this again. All I wanted to do was call Sam and tell him what had just happened. I reached for the phone, but my hand froze in mid-air.
Sam.
He was the only opinion that really mattered now. He isn't cruel with me. He isn't anything like this other guy. He is beyond special, and of amazing value, especially to me.
Sam.
The One. He who asked me to be his wife because he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He who wants to have a family with me. Me. I'm special to him.
In that moment, I knew that no past relationship compared to the one I was in. That he is the one I'm going to spend forever with. I felt a wave of comfort wash over me, and was hit with just how much love and trust I've put in this man. I've got him, and that's all I wanted.
He's the One.
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