when I'm an old woman

I don't often think about growing old, maybe because I'm trying really hard to focus on the present and live in the now and not the future. But a writing prompt told me to write about my hopes for myself when I grow old.

First off, I hope I live long enough to celebrate being married to my sweet husband for 50 years. That means I have to live until July 18, 2065 (I will be 75.5 years old by then). My Bubby died shortly after her 50th Anniversary to my Grandpa, but at least they made it to that amazing milestone in their marriage.

Second, I plan on being one of those cute little old ladies who work at the temple. At this point in my life I will have started shrinking and will most likely have a little walker to get here and there. Young women will look at me like I am old as dirt, but young single adults will look at me with admiration and think, "oh she's so cute. I want to be her when I get old."

I don't fear getting old, only the moments that lead up to my eventual passing. For example, I really wish I could just die in my sleep. To go in any kind of tragic way would feel like I got cheated out of living my life to the last minute.

Third, I'm interested to see how I will look as an old woman. I have a strong suspicion that I will end up looking like my great-grandmother, as we share many physical similarities. But this also makes me wonder what my mother will look like as she gets older, as I will most likely resemble her the most.

Despite these speculations, I know that by the time I am an old woman, I will have figured it all out. I will be a fountain of knowledge in multiple areas and able to share my experience with the young people around me. By this time, social media will have gotten to a point whe

Oquirrh Lake

Let me preface this story by saying I have literally started to stop and smell the roses. 

As my love affair with the mountains continues to blossom, so does my appreciation for nature. I also hear the call of the naturally beautiful world beckoning me to get out and start exploring. As part of my beautiful backgrounds quest, we decided to talk a Sunday walk around Oquirrp Lake. 

Sam had taken a soccer ball hit to the face the night before and needed his glasses fixed, so after we'd done that at Jordan Landing, we had about 40 minutes to kill before family dinner in Daybreak. 

We had been to this lake once before for a family dinner last year, but had not gotten any further than the picnic tables by the road.

It was beautiful, we will definitely take Princess sometime just so she can see the water. 

Pardon Sam's funny faces, none of them were intentional :)

This one might be my new favorite photos of us.

my love affair with the mountains

Lately, I've been in love with the mountains. It all started in January when I drove to work the first day after the inversion had disappeared due to a recent snowstorm. I'm very fortunate to have a decent commute to work everyday, I spend almost exactly 20 minutes from driveway to parking spot.

So anyway, I drive east on 4100 South every day, and for the first time in weeks I could see all the way to the mountains. The view was so clear and breathtaking, I was amazed that I drove this route every single day since September and never noticed this.

It gets better! Driving home west on 4100 South, I saw the other mountains playing with the sunlight. Ever since that day, I have been in love with the Utah mountains. I shared my thoughts with Sam, who reminded me how lucky we are that the house that was already perfect for us continues to surprise us with other amazing benefits.

This is what I see when I look across the street

Some shots along Bangerter

This love affair has inspired a project called #BeautifulBackgrounds where Sam and I will go out of our way to document all of the beautiful backgrounds we come across in our married adventures.

Here's the first one, Sam at the Oquirrh Mountain Temple.

This is going to be fun, but it is also my way of stopping to smell the roses and enjoy the beauty around me.

what would I wish for?

For the longest time, I believed that if I could wish for anything, I would wish for no anxiety (for me, or anyone else for that matter). But lately, as I've gotten better and better about defusing and living with my high-functioning anxiety, I've been pondering what I would wish for if anxiety was not my focus.

I wish I were braver. I wish I had the courage to make more daring choices, like study abroad or go skydiving. I'm practical and responsible to a fault. I was just telling someone the other day that I never did anything crazy awesome when I was younger because I was planning and saving for the house I would buy eventually.

I'm not saying that I wish I'd done reckless or careless things, but I wish I'd been brave enough to take some of the seemingly ridiculous opportunities that were placed in front of me.

I realize that I can't go back in time and change the past, but I can absolute set myself up for future opportunities to be adventurous.

For example, playing soccer! I can't even begin to describe how playing a season of indoor soccer has changed me. So much so that our next season starts on Saturday.

Also being a Big with Big Brothers, Big Sisters and mentoring a 14-yr-old girl has been quite the adventure too.

Perhaps having the courage to do adventurous things is all in my perspective. I mean, it's only March and I've already done some pretty neat things so far this year. I've some ideas and a few strategies to encourage a new kind of history instead of letting mine repeat itself. I've got less than 3 years left in my 20's to have my 20-something adventures, and then it will be time for the 30-something adventures. I just want to make the most of the choices that are out in front me.

Well what do you know, maybe I got my wish!

Three Day Recap

The last three days have been filled with fun little adventures at work, so I didn't want to leave them out of my blog life.

It all started on Wednesday when the Fire Department came for the Preschool Show and Tell. I have a special place in my heart for firefighters because it is very possible that my little brother will become one someday.

Coincidentally, we had a fire drill the next day. I love it when we have fire drills, it's all so exciting.

I was able to snap a selfie with the firetruck when the kids were outside learning about all the different bells and whistles.

It was also Dr. Suess' birthday on Thursday, so I got to choose a special hat to wear all day to acknowledge the awesome writer who created Cat in the Hat and so many other fantastic children's books. I chose a Horton hat, although I had to take it off after a few minutes because it was distracting me so much. Isn't it just the neatest?

Pardon my face, apparently this is what happened when you overextend the angel of your selfie.

Friday was a great day, not only because it was Friday, but because it was my Professional Development Day! hat means instead of being at school on a non-student day, I got to go to a conference with all of the other office pros in the the district. I was so excited when I woke up that morning, I could barely focus on my PiYo workout. I changed my outfit three times, before I settle on a black suit.

Not gonna lie, I felt pretty boss.

This is the view I get to see every morning when I leave for work, and I wanted to share it with the world! You're welcome! How does this not immediately brighten your morning? Seriously!

The theme of the conference was "You Got This," and I thought it was perfectly appropriate given that so many of us in attendance were secretaries, and I often have moments where I question if I do actually "got it."

Belinda Kuck was our amazing keynote speaker, and also taught the session on time management. I learned so much from her! I'd love to be her when I grow up.

After the conference ended, I wanted a mountain pic with me in it. I think I'm having a love affair with the Utah mountains, and I don;t care who knows it!

Catching Up

One of my bestie, Steph, was in town this week.

I was over the moon when she told me she was around for a little bit, and beyond thrilled when she could squeeze me in for a bestie visit.

First up, Princess loves her! 

It was so funny to watch my pup warm up to her so fast, when normally she is such a Momma's Girl and refuses to leave my lap. 

Secondly, it's so nice to spend time with your friends and feel like they never left even though you haven't seen them in FOREVER!!

And third, we are still those strong young feminists who met in college 9 years ago. Gosh, I can't believe we've been buds for that long!

Love ya Girl!!!!

differently

What do I wish my parents did differently while raising me?

I really don't have many complaints about how I was raised. I had both parents, two brothers, multiple cats, my grandparents, and a best friend who lived across the street. We lived in a house, we had two cars, and the refrigerator was always full. I practically grew up in a daycare where I had several moms, and easily felt like the cream of the crop. Aside from being a bit socially awkward and struggling to make friends (mostly because most kids thought I was a smarty-pants show-off, and there's definitely a half-truth to that), I was pretty solid.

Regardless, the one thing I wish had been different was learning how to process and express my emotions (positive or negative) in a healthy way.

My family's volume for communication is loud. We yell for each other throughout the house instead of going to the same room to talk to them. Many private conversations become public knowledge depending on the day and who you decide to tell.

So anyway, we yell. A lot. You would think that when we are mad, we would also yell a lot. Usually something escalates from a loud argument to a blowup.

That wasn't the problem.

The problem I noticed was that too often we would blowup and nothing would get resolved. Every argument was like shaking a snow globe, we would just go back to the way we were after the dust settled.

It wasn't until after college when I realized that wasn't the healthiest way to communicate. I'd done several years of counseling after my Bubby died, and learned that I had been holding in my emotions to the point where they would come barreling out whenever a loud argument was happening. If I could learn to express my feelings as they come instead of bottling them up, I could prevent myself from having a blowup.

The practice wasn't so hard once I got the hang of it, in fact, I don't think my marriage would be as comforting or enjoyable if I hadn't learned this. The problem was that I was the only person in my family subscribing to the practice. Talk about frustrating. I was starting to think my practice was pointless and that I was an island unto myself in my own little angsty world.

But then I saw how it works!

I was on vacation with my in-laws last year when I noticed something that was bothering me about the dynamic. I told my husband, who encouraged me to mention it to my mother-in-law. I was afraid to do so, mostly because I expected a blowup (and I didn't want to jeopardize my relationship with her by coming across as whining or negative). Somehow I managed to bring it up with her, and within two hours I noticed a difference.

I was floored! I expressed my amazement to Sam, who basically told me that the only way to solve a problem is to ask for help.

I'm doing a lot better in regard to preventing an emotional buildup, which comes in handy every month when the hormones are running wild and I know that I am actually okay even though I feel like I'm not.

We definitely plan on using this practice with our own children.