learning to let it go

I've been practicing patience a lot lately, especially with Princess.

I've never been much of a dog person, that's Sam's area of experience, so becoming a doggie mom is strange undiscovered territory for me. I don't immediately know how to solve dog issues like I do with kids.

Still, learning how to co-parent a dog has been interesting. Sam and I have very different parenting styles, so we really have to work together in order to be consistent with what we are teaching Princess.

But as rewarding as it has been adopting Princess, I have many frustrations with her as well. I've had many more frustrations that are entirely unrelated to her also.

Sam asked me to work on letting go of my frustration and cut myself a break. He even showed me a meditative excretes to physically help you let something go.

We are working on it.

I'm learning to let it go.

Shawgwarts

Last Friday night we went to Shaw Hogwarts (Shawgwarts), a Harry Potter house put on by Sam's cousin Kelsey's husband Matthew's family. It was pretty cool, the inside of the house was made to look like Hogsmeade, Hagrid's hut, Dumbledore's office, and Diagon Alley.

The Elder Wand on display

Hogsmead

Hogwarts staircase, complete with floating candles

Dumbledore's office

Cousin selfie! 

It was pretty neat to see all the details that went into constructing this amazing display. There were so many little things that made the walk through truly magical. I was reminded of the first time I read the books, back when only books 1-3 were out and I had to wait in line at midnight to get the remaining four. What an amazing way for me to relive a small piece of my childhood!

Maybe one of these years we can have Harry Potter-themed costumes.

Adopting Princess

We finally (FINALLY) got around to adopting a dog!

She is a four month old heeler/chihuahua mix who is incredibly curious, a cuddle bug, and quite the walking partner. Her name was Aloura, but her foster mom said that she'd only had the name for two weeks, so we decided to rename her Princess (my grandparents used to have a black lab named Princess, so I consider it a family name).

We bought an arsenal of dog stuff, including a pink harness, pink leash, pink food dish, and a large crate for her to be in during the day when we're at work and at night to sleep inside.

She already loves her Daddy! She tried to help him put together her crate.

She loves Mommy too!

But she isn't too fazed at the idea of taking selfies yet.

We found her through the Rescue Rovers adoption event at Petsmart. 

I remember telling Sam I wanted an older dog that was a smaller breed, so you can imagine my surprise when I crossed her path. 

Honestly, she reminded me of Olivia, especially in the eyes.

I was sold!

She's a good dog mostly, but we started puppy school this week so that she can be properly trained and get socialized. I also plan to set her up with puppy playdates with Arthur and Buster (Bryce's dogs), and Daisy and Mariposa (Aunt Carmen's dogs) so that she can bond with her "cousins." 

So far I've noticed that she's a bit of a momma's girl when people come over, but she warms up eventually. She loved meeting my mom and dad when they came over the day after we adopted her. I'm hoping that she'll love Sam's parents when they come for Thanksgiving. She's a lot of work, but she's done wonders for my overall mood.

Her hashtag shall be #PunkPrincess!

Insomnia

They say stress and anxiety make you crazy, for me it just makes it hard to sleep. I keep coming to the conclusion that my job is making it hard for me to sleep through the night, which is weird because things are finally settling down.

Although we start Parent Teacher Conferences tonight, and that's been a pretty big to-do for the last three weeks, I don't really want to believe that it is causing my insomnia. I guess I really just need to work on leaving work angst at work.

I started a new fitness program called Focus T25, and it is kicking my butt! I really like it so far, I even enjoy waking up at 5:20am to get it done. But I guess I should give it a full week before I can expect see any sleep improvement because of my exercising.

I hope I'm not one of those people who always has something big weighing on them.

Maybe another reason why I'm having issues is because we have decided to adopt a dog, and that's a huge responsibility that I'm both excited and terrified about. I've been poured over adoption websites, glancing at photos and bios, researching breeds, filing out adoption applications all in hopes of finding the right dog for our family. It's like house-hunting in many ways, but it should be worth it when we finally find the new member of our family.

Maybe I should just stop trying to do things ;)

Regardless, I think maybe meditation might be helpful right now. But seriously, if I can just get to Saturday I think I'll be fine.

I'm reminded

Wow, sorry it's been almost a month since my last post. Seriously, it's not like I'm depriving my audience of my adventures on purpose.

Anyway, we've been really busy with work, then we had Tyler's wedding, Sam's parents came to visit us last weekend, and we have our housewarming party coming up this weekend!

With so much happening, it's been very easy to get caught up in the moment. It's been happening so much, I kind of lost myself for a minute.

I needed a healthy dose of perspective.

I was on my way to babysit in Sugarhouse after work, and I decided to stop by Westminster and say hi to my friends.

I found out my old job was open again, my replacement quit shortly after starting, and I popped by to see my old boss.

On my way back to my car I ran into both my thesis advisors, and had a good chat about how I see the world since graduation.

I'm reminded of my life six months ago, and the comparison was no contest.

I'm reminded of so many things that I don't have to deal with anymore. Sure, I have different stressors now, but I wouldn't go back to where I used to be.

Growth is good, no matter how uncomfortable or emotionally taxing it may be.

I'm reminded who I am, who I've been, and who I want to be.

I'm reminded how far I've come.

When you just want to cry

I haven't been quiet about my feelings fir the last little while (then again, am I ever quiet about anything?), but I've dealt with something this year that I've never quite experienced like this before.

I'm suffering from emotional exhaustion.

I first noticed it when I was house-hunting, but didn't really understand what was 'wrong' with me. I wish I could say that it's gone, but I haven't bounced back just yet.

Could it be my job?

Yes.

Could it be settling into a new house?

Yes.

Could it be my brother's wedding this weekend?

Yes.

I'm stressed.

Who wouldn't be though?

I'm starting to feel better now that we have our house in order, ditto on getting back into a consistent workout routine, but I'm still struggling.

I hope that after the wedding things will feel less hectic.

Work has improved immensely. I actually feel like I know what I'm doing.

I started painting again, and gave a painting to my Assistant Principal.

I'm getting there.

But this Monday broke me.

I hadn't really slept for about a week, and I was so tired. My schedule was nuts, I only got to see Sam twice between Monday and Friday.

I was numb.

Until I finally acknowledged that life was weighing me down and I began to cry. My sweet husband held me as I sobbed and sobbed about everything. When I was done, he kissed me and sent me off to bed early so I could get some rest.

I woke up feeling like a new woman.

I had no idea how the weight of my emotional problems was negatively affecting me.

It took more than just sleeping to help me, it took a really long sob session and the support of a loving husband. It took a long prayer and some poignant scripture study to remind me that it's okay to struggle because that's what will help me become the person I'm meant to become.

I'm so grateful that I don't have to struggle in solitary, that I have reminders of my strength everywhere.

Sometimes you just need to cry.

My First Home Project!

I haven't posted photos of the new house yet, I know. But it's because my last little bit of new furniture is being delivered this week and I plan on taking a bunch of pic then.

Anyway, our bedroom window is west facing, as is our large kitchen window. We have a ton of natural light and that is awesome, what isn't awesome is that our bedroom gets heated up right before we are ready to go to bed. Because of this, my teddybear husband has turned into a grouchy bear every night for the last week. 

To help remedy this problem, I began researching ways to cool down our room (the most logical being to simply keep the sun out). I decided to try thermal curtains to not only cool down our living spaces, but to add a little color to our brown walls trimmed with white (and brown carpet). 

At one point, there had been a curtain rod installed in the kitchen, but it was no longer there, so we needed to purchase the necessary hardware and (re)install ourselves. It wasn't too hard to switch out the hardware and screws, but our bedroom needed the whole nine yards for installation.

We went shopping at Big Lots and picked out rods for each window, and selected lovely blue patterned curtains for the kitchen, and some dark red ones for our bedroom. I raided the toolbox, found what I needed, and began the installation.

This is our bedroom window before I got my hands on it.

Thanks to Sam for snapping the photos!

My finished product!

As soon as we hung the curtains, Sam noticed the thermostat drop about 4 degrees in less than 30 minutes. Later, as we were getting ready for bed, we noticed our room was significantly cooler (we probably won't even need the fan tonight!).

Yay for completing our very first home improvement project! 

Next up is creating our very own compost bin for our produce shavings so that we can make soil for our future garden boxes.