You are of Worth

This past weekend was my friend Corie's mission farewell, and it gave me the opportunity to reconnect with my Phi sisters one last time before we all split up in different directions. I got to spend the majority of my Sunday talking to Livvy, one of my sisters who is going through her post-grad depression. Like me, she graduated and had her heart broken around the same time, and seemed to have lost her zeal. It seemed like just yesterday I was the depressed one, only it was actually three months ago. Luckily, because I had been there already, I responded to her problems with some of my own recent experiences and they seemed to be just what she needed to hear.

One of the main conversation topics always circles back to relationships, it seems like every time we talk, one of us is having issues with some guy. I pinpointed that the reason why breakups hurt girls like us so much is because it isn't just a rejection, it is a declaration of not being loved. We feel unloved, and that sends us into an anxious quest to feel validated again. It makes us look desperate to new guys because we like the attention, we like to feel important to others. Other girls make it look so easy, and for a long time I was determined to figure out why.

Then it dawned on me. It doesn't matter to them. They have validation and love from other places, they aren't lacking anything and therefore don't spend their free time dwelling on what they think they might be missing. I mentioned this to Livvy, and she asked me where I get my validation from.

I thought about it for a split second before responding (take in mind I had already thought about this long before we had this conversation). I look at the friendships I have in my life, beginning with the girls. That's what made Phi so great, it's because it was our safe place. I don't have sisters, neither does my mom, or my grandma. My family averages one girl per family, and the cousins really don't stick around. My friend Steph has been around since Spring of '09, and regardless of distance we've kept close. Phi added more friends to the mix, like Livvy.

Then I looked at the guys in my life: Dad, Uncle D, both brothers, little Max, Grandpa, etc. Top of the list of non-related is Bryce and Adam. Best friends. My best friends.

So, I get emotional support from my family, affection from my toddler cousins and my best friends, and love from all of them.

So the next time someone performs any act that make you feel rejected, unloved, not worth it, etc you need to re-evaluate your life. You don't need someone else's approval to feel loved. You really don't, as long as you love yourself. Don't ever stop loving yourself.