It's crazy, I feel like I've been simply spinning my wheels for the last three years. Never stopping to breathe, never stopping to think, never stopping to feel; it wears you down after awhile. Being busy, so busy, you never really stop and be honest with yourself.
If you could look at yourself in the mirror, take it all in, and be truly honest, what would you say to yourself?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I never gave you a chance to feel anything the right way; heartbreak, heartache, or even to let someone love you. I'm sorry I ignored your concerns and fears, and pushed aside your spiritual needs. I'm sorry that I lost track of what real happiness is. I forgot what it felt like to feel anything, not knowing what to do about it, and constantly forgetting to let you heal.
I'm sorry that you don't know how to love because of me. I should've tried harder the first time to put your broken heart back together, and given you more time to understand love in general. I wish that it wasn't my fault that you can't trust others, or be entirely honest with anyone.
I'm sorry I stopped listening. That's changed.
An angel came out of nowhere, kicked down my door, and let me have it. I love you, so why would I knowingly and intentionally hurt you just because? This angel was just one of the many, but the only one to look me square in the eye and say, "What are you doing? Seriously, why?" I don't know why she came to me out of nowhere, out of the blue, to me, right then and there. But I understood.
Dear Me, I'll be better. You deserve the best, the highest honored respect, and all the love and happiness anyone could ever desire. I promise I'll be better, because I love you so much. Thank the angel, every day, every night, and never forget how it feels to be this way. Ever again.
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