When you just want to cry

I haven't been quiet about my feelings fir the last little while (then again, am I ever quiet about anything?), but I've dealt with something this year that I've never quite experienced like this before.

I'm suffering from emotional exhaustion.

I first noticed it when I was house-hunting, but didn't really understand what was 'wrong' with me. I wish I could say that it's gone, but I haven't bounced back just yet.

Could it be my job?

Yes.

Could it be settling into a new house?

Yes.

Could it be my brother's wedding this weekend?

Yes.

I'm stressed.

Who wouldn't be though?

I'm starting to feel better now that we have our house in order, ditto on getting back into a consistent workout routine, but I'm still struggling.

I hope that after the wedding things will feel less hectic.

Work has improved immensely. I actually feel like I know what I'm doing.

I started painting again, and gave a painting to my Assistant Principal.

I'm getting there.

But this Monday broke me.

I hadn't really slept for about a week, and I was so tired. My schedule was nuts, I only got to see Sam twice between Monday and Friday.

I was numb.

Until I finally acknowledged that life was weighing me down and I began to cry. My sweet husband held me as I sobbed and sobbed about everything. When I was done, he kissed me and sent me off to bed early so I could get some rest.

I woke up feeling like a new woman.

I had no idea how the weight of my emotional problems was negatively affecting me.

It took more than just sleeping to help me, it took a really long sob session and the support of a loving husband. It took a long prayer and some poignant scripture study to remind me that it's okay to struggle because that's what will help me become the person I'm meant to become.

I'm so grateful that I don't have to struggle in solitary, that I have reminders of my strength everywhere.

Sometimes you just need to cry.

My First Home Project!

I haven't posted photos of the new house yet, I know. But it's because my last little bit of new furniture is being delivered this week and I plan on taking a bunch of pic then.

Anyway, our bedroom window is west facing, as is our large kitchen window. We have a ton of natural light and that is awesome, what isn't awesome is that our bedroom gets heated up right before we are ready to go to bed. Because of this, my teddybear husband has turned into a grouchy bear every night for the last week. 

To help remedy this problem, I began researching ways to cool down our room (the most logical being to simply keep the sun out). I decided to try thermal curtains to not only cool down our living spaces, but to add a little color to our brown walls trimmed with white (and brown carpet). 

At one point, there had been a curtain rod installed in the kitchen, but it was no longer there, so we needed to purchase the necessary hardware and (re)install ourselves. It wasn't too hard to switch out the hardware and screws, but our bedroom needed the whole nine yards for installation.

We went shopping at Big Lots and picked out rods for each window, and selected lovely blue patterned curtains for the kitchen, and some dark red ones for our bedroom. I raided the toolbox, found what I needed, and began the installation.

This is our bedroom window before I got my hands on it.

Thanks to Sam for snapping the photos!

My finished product!

As soon as we hung the curtains, Sam noticed the thermostat drop about 4 degrees in less than 30 minutes. Later, as we were getting ready for bed, we noticed our room was significantly cooler (we probably won't even need the fan tonight!).

Yay for completing our very first home improvement project! 

Next up is creating our very own compost bin for our produce shavings so that we can make soil for our future garden boxes.