When you just want to cry

I haven't been quiet about my feelings fir the last little while (then again, am I ever quiet about anything?), but I've dealt with something this year that I've never quite experienced like this before.

I'm suffering from emotional exhaustion.

I first noticed it when I was house-hunting, but didn't really understand what was 'wrong' with me. I wish I could say that it's gone, but I haven't bounced back just yet.

Could it be my job?

Yes.

Could it be settling into a new house?

Yes.

Could it be my brother's wedding this weekend?

Yes.

I'm stressed.

Who wouldn't be though?

I'm starting to feel better now that we have our house in order, ditto on getting back into a consistent workout routine, but I'm still struggling.

I hope that after the wedding things will feel less hectic.

Work has improved immensely. I actually feel like I know what I'm doing.

I started painting again, and gave a painting to my Assistant Principal.

I'm getting there.

But this Monday broke me.

I hadn't really slept for about a week, and I was so tired. My schedule was nuts, I only got to see Sam twice between Monday and Friday.

I was numb.

Until I finally acknowledged that life was weighing me down and I began to cry. My sweet husband held me as I sobbed and sobbed about everything. When I was done, he kissed me and sent me off to bed early so I could get some rest.

I woke up feeling like a new woman.

I had no idea how the weight of my emotional problems was negatively affecting me.

It took more than just sleeping to help me, it took a really long sob session and the support of a loving husband. It took a long prayer and some poignant scripture study to remind me that it's okay to struggle because that's what will help me become the person I'm meant to become.

I'm so grateful that I don't have to struggle in solitary, that I have reminders of my strength everywhere.

Sometimes you just need to cry.