what it means to be a man

I'm a hardcore feminist.

While many people will try to tell you what it means, to me it means that I support all women in their choices, if they have kids or choose not to have kids, or if they are working moms or stay-home moms, etc etc. I support women and the choices they make, even if they differ from the choices I make for myself. The hard part is that not every woman does this, so I often get the short end of the stick.

After finding out I was pregnant, I began to think about childcare arrangements. I plan on returning to work after maternity leave, and not many people agree with that choice. I was actually work-shamed for voicing that choice among a group of peers from church. I'm sure they didn't mean it the way it came off, but I was feeling some serious judgement because I wasn't planning on staying home. No feminism support there.

People have issues with the word 'feminist,' but I believe the fundamentals of feminist theory are important and both men and women should understand them.

As my unborn son grows and develops everyday, I think more and more about what it will be like raising a boy. Social media has been ablaze nonstop for the last year or so in regard to high-profile politicians and their opinions when it comes to women's rights. There is definitely a 'norm' in society that twists and shapes a lot of young men to believe specific things about women. For example, women's breast being acceptable to showcase in order to sell products but if a woman breastfeeds in public she can be shamed (by both men and women).

Today, I decided that I need to teach my son about women and why I am a feminist. I want my son to understand love, tolerance, and support and how it applies to everyone regardless of race, religion, gender, or sexuality.

One gender is not superior to others, neither is religion, race or sexuality.

I often hear boys tell each other to 'man up,' or to 'stop being a girl.'

Honestly, I believe it takes a lot to "be a man." But I also think that not every man can actually live up to what it means to really "be a man."

I know several "real men,"and I'm very fortunate that Charlie will have these amazing men to learn from as he grows up.

I hope that I can help my son grow into one of those men who changes the world because he understands love and tolerance.

Maybe my way of changing the world is showing my son how he can make a difference.

Maybe.