Dear Charlie,
Earlier this week I felt you kick for the very first time. I was sitting on the couch, and I felt the flutters. I immediately put my hand on the spot where I felt the movement, and there it was again. And again. I called to your daddy, but he wasn't fast enough to feel your kicks too.
The next day you did it again, and I was overwhelmed. You proceeded to keep kicking me about every two hours in clusters of 3-4 kicks. Each time I texted your dad to say "He's kicking again!!!" But the time evening rolled around, I realized you only moved when I didn't, which I'm sure is a challenge because it seems like I'm always moving.
Today, I went in to work at school for a few hours and amidst my constant moving around, you began to move with me. Only this time, discomfort overwhelmed me when I wasn't overjoyed. Walking soon became too much and I had to sit down and wait for you to relax before I could get up again.
I later realized that this experience is a great way to explain life obstacles to you. You see, when big moments happen in life, sometimes they make you feel great but other times not so much. Much like how I'm learning to roll with your kicks and punches, you'll learn to roll with the punches that life throws at you.
I still have 18-20 weeks left of dealing with the joys and discomforts every time you decide to show me what you've got, but I hope it can prepare me for how to help you deal with life when it makes you uncomfortable.
Life will make you uncomfortable, unhappy, downright depressed, and bring about horrible feelings of helplessness at times. But it can also make you feel beautiful amazing joy. I promise you that the feeling of joy is worth it. Believe me, I spend many days trying to convince myself that the world is a beautiful place despite all the bad things running amok.
You have the choice to see those punches and kicks as either joyous or not. Much like I am doing with you, you can do it too.
Be strong sweet boy.
Mama loves you.
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