seeing my baby

For weeks I've been worrying about the baby. I've had nightmares where I miscarried, worried about each and every movement I felt, and fleeting thoughts where I thought there wasn't actually a baby in there. But my ultrasound day finally came, and I was determined to power through my fears.

I asked Victoria to come with me for emotional support since Sam had to work, so we headed out to the clinic in the morning. I'd been drinking water for 2hrs in prep, so I kept needing to go to the bathroom. We waited anxiously in the waiting area until they called my name.

My technician's name was Isabel, and she was the nicest women ever. She asked me a few questions and then fired up the machine. I tried to breathe normally, since the last time my doctor tried to find the heartbeat with the doppler she couldn't, I kept trying to stay positive. I kept glancing at Victoria until the screen lit up black and white images.

There he was.

My baby boy, upside-down, feet in the air, like he was trying to stand on his head. He measured right on schedule, 11 weeks and 3 days, my little dino-boy! Isabel got a few measurements and looked at a few different things before she printed some images for me to take home.

Victoria was nice enough to record the heartbeat; Isabel told me that it was nice and strong. 

I was so overwhelmed that I cried a little.

Ever since we took the DNA test that said our baby was a boy, the bonding experience has been amazing. It was so special to know the gender when I saw the baby on the screen for the very first time. My little boy, the best parts of me and Sam, is developing beautifully and will be here in 6 months!