Seeing You Meant Everything

Dear Charlie,

This week was an interesting one. Some of my events included a family math night, a school-hosted breakfast with superintendent, a SLEOPA board meeting, birthing class, and driving your father to the airport to go to Arizona for your cousin PJ's baby blessing.

But how the week started was with Daddy and I having a 3D ultrasound. Ever since our July 18 anniversary, we've been having a surprise date night on the 18th of every month. This will continue until your birth (I already have our date planned and adaptable to the hospital just in case you decide to prolong your inevitable birthing debut).

Anyway, these dates range from simple and sweet to generous and grand. This ultrasound was the grandest of my date plans, and a bit pricy. Regardless, it was the best surprise for daddy when I told him where we were going.

We learned a few things about you from this particular session.

First up, you have hair. This one threw me off because I didn't know that you could see this on a ultrasound, but we are still debating as to whose hair you will actually have. My vote is for blonde curly hair like mine. Sam thinks it will be blonde and straight. However, if you have dark curly hair then I will be thrilled because it means you will have inherited the 'jew-fro' from my side.

Next, you have my feet. I know it seems weird, but knowing you have my feet makes me smile. I got my big feet from my Bubby, so knowing that you have my feet means that you got something from her as well. My saddest realization during my pregnancy was that you will never have your own memories of Bubby. She was such an driving force in this world; knowing that you have some of her helps me feel like she will always be a part of you.

You are stubborn and defiant to authority. Your feet and legs were blocking your face, and then when the tech maneuvered around them the cord was right next to your right eye and distorting the image. I will admit I tried to bribe you to see if it would work, but alas it didn't (although I think you are trying to prove to me that you cannot be bought). 

I can already see both parents in your face. You have my lips/mouth, but you have your father's Barlow jaw. It's amazing to see the definition in your angelic features, and to see the tiny familiarities in the face that I have yet to actually see outside of the womb.

But seriously, watching the screen for that hour did something to me. It felt like my heart was completed for a minute. To know that you picked me to be your mother, and us to be your family, was overwhelming. I hope I can be the kind of mom you need and deserve, but rest assure that you will be born into a family full of love who cannot wait to meet you.

Seeing you meant everything, and meeting you in December will mean even more. Mama loves you!