Loving my body

I wrote a post awhile back about loving yourself. Basically, I tore into how other were making me feel bad about myself on social media because the idea of "loving yourself" made it look like that if you were heavier, you must not love yourself enough to change.

I was wrong.

I finally started listening to my body after the hardest semester of school almost broke me. I was plagued by stress-induced insomnia, menstrual migraines, and an over disgust for my appearance. Looking in the mirror only made me depressed. I could only see what was wrong with me, and none of the positive qualities that my friends and family love about me. My body may have been on the healthy side, but my body image was not.

I started doing the 21-Day fix back in December, mostly because the workouts could be done at home and were only 30 minutes long. I enjoyed the daily structure, and my body began to feel good. I felt stronger, stood up a little bit taller, and just didn't hurt as easily as I had in the past.

I only did the workouts for the first two weeks, but when December started, I adapted to the meal plan. Right now, the hardest part is not having carbs at dinner. I switched some foods for new ones, and now I get my vegetables and fruits daily, and have grown quite fond of cooking absolutely everything we eat. Food prep is a bit time consuming, but by doing it on Sunday, it gets done and we keep Sunday a day of rest (which has always been a challenge for me).

I've still got a long way to go, but I'm determined so look for more than thinness when I see my reflection. It's all a process, but I don't think it's impossible.

With all the stressors associated with grad school and working full-time, I was encouraged to reward myself at the close of each phase of my research. For Phase One (finished in January) I ordered a an adult coloring book. For Phase Two, set to wrap up by Valentine's Day, I ordered the PiYo fitness program and and a bag of Chocolate Shakeology to help me shed the last little bit of weight that is bugging me. Phase Three might warrant a nice massage, while Phase Four should be a dinner at Sugarhouse BBQ.

The hardest part is not turning to carb-y comfort foods, but I keep trying to tell myself that I can include moderate carbs in all three of my meals instead of just two.

If I can get down to a healthy weight, it will make my future pregnancy a lot better, I'm sure of it. Plus, I know our family is eating so much better because of these few changes.

I love my body.

I can do hard things.