my heart hurts

I am absolutely devastated.

I cannot stop crying.

This is one of the hardest things I've ever done.

We made the heartbreaking decision to send Princess away to the Humane Society.

I know what you might be thinking, 'it's because of the baby,' but you'd be wrong.

Princess has been having accidents, and we originally thought it was because her schedule had been so skiwampus. Yet even after we were consistent with her bathroom breaks, she still struggled. Then I noticed she was a lot slower to go up the stairs, followed by her being unable to climb on the couch or the chair she loves to curl up on. She also lost interest in her food, which is very unlike her.

After watching this for awhile, we took her to the vet to see what was up.

A blood test indicated anemia, and other tests couldn't tell us why. The treatment for anemia is a blood transfusion, but only after they find the cause.

We spent just over $500 at the vet and the animal hospital and we still didn't know the cause.

They gave us medication that we thought was working for a split second, but then her accidents got worse. She wouldn't even stand up to relieve herself. My already skinny dog was losing weight and there was nothing I could do for her.

When the last test came back clean, our next option was a $500 test.

At this point, I began to suspect that she may have cancer or an auto-immune disease. These were the last options and I wasn't emotionally prepared for either. She has always been skinny, no matter how much I fed her.

My heart began to ache because I knew we couldn't spend thousands of dollars to keep looking for the problem, and she was getting worse every day.

Sam and I decided that we needed her to be somewhere where someone could either meet her medical needs or put her down so that she wouldn't die a slow and painful death. I didn't want to watch her die, nor did I want to be the one to make that decision.

I love this dog so very much; she is my fur baby. But being a new mom with a baby who needs so much from me, I hated coming to my conclusion.

I have seriously spent the last three days crying, but I know it is for the best.

Sam took her away last night, and we donated all of her things to the Humane Society.

I can't stop crying.