Write about disappointment
The 500 Words
Write about a disappointment? I feel like I don’t have small
disappointments, only really large heartbreaking disappointments. I already
told you about getting rejected from my first choice grad school program, and
not getting my dream job in the office I wanted to work in forever. I’ve tried
to be diplomatic and classy about my break-up, but maybe it’s time to talk
about it for a minute.
Having my heart broken wasn’t the disappointment, it was
knowing that I went out on a limb and let myself trust someone enough to fall
in love, and then they let me down. I was disappointed that I couldn’t be loved
back.
I wondered what was so wrong with me? How could anyone
deserve feeling a pain quite like this? How could I not see it coming? Who did
I cross in a past life to have this catch up with me?
The definition of the word ‘disappointment’ is: the feeling
of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or
expectations.
Yeah, losing my boyfriend was definitely a physical
representation of that definition. I never thought I would feel hopeful again;
like all of my dreams had been shattered and I questioned everything I knew
about myself. It wasn’t just about losing the hope in the relationship; it was
about losing hope in myself.
After two months, the pain has dulled and the memories have
faded. The feelings have been released out into the universe and I do not want
to feel them again anytime soon. That’s not me saying I never want to feel love
again, I just want to keep my feelings to myself for awhile. I’m not ready to
share them with other people for fear that I will lose those hopes again.
How do people overcome their disappointments? I would assume
that after an appropriate timeframe to process and deal with it, they would
start to figure out a new dream.
What is my new dream? Well, in my attempts to refocus all of
my thoughts on my graduate program, writing, and art, I’ve set out on a path of
self-fulfillment. In school, I am working with others in my cohort to make
positive changes and design programs in the education sector. In my writing, I
am working on the companion novel to the one I finished this past summer. As an
added bonus, I’ve taken steps to become a temple worker so that I can tap into
my religious beliefs and feel like I’m making a difference.
I don’t know what my new dream is. But I know that I want to
make a difference. My friends in the cohort are the people who have the vision
to make change, but I’m the one who can figure out how to change the processes
in order to make it happen. They can propose the big changes, and I can run the
new programs. Change the world or run the world; I’d like to run the world.
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