Turn your insecurities into inspiration
The 500 Words
My insecurities. Boy do I have a lot of them. Although, how
insecure can I really be if I’m willing to be so blatant in admitting them?
I care way too much about what other people think. I have a
very specific picture in my head of how I want people to see me. Unfortunately,
it’s not just one picture that’ sin my head, there a definitely a few fighting
to be number one.
The Professional Preppy
This is the me who wears pencil skirts, cardigans, pearls,
high heels, and wants to take over the world by morning. The me who plans out
absolutely everything, relishes making to-do lists, and has a fifteen-year
plan.
This version of me is going to be the Dean of something one
day. She will also have a home on Sugarhouse, and a condo on Park City. Her
kids will be beautiful and proper, one boy and one girl, and her dog will be
her running buddy as she trains for various marathons.
She is the me that wants to run the world, and really
doesn’t care what she needs to do in order to make that happen.
The Spiritual Ray of Sunshine
This is the me who wears pink and white flowy dresses and
flip-flops. The me whose disposition is sunny and cheerful and determined to
bring joy and light to everyone around her. Someone who has unshakeable faith
in the universe and holding firm to the belief that everything will work out.
This version of me is going to have, like, five children,
and they will be her world. She will be a mom who stays home with her kids and
who works at their elementary school part of the time. She’ll teach Sunday
School, run the PTA, and never question whether or not she missed her callings
in life.
The Rebellious Artist
This is the me who wears a lot of black, wears her hair
natural and messy, and has tattoos and piercings. The me who writes about
everything, paints the spectrum of my feelings on canvas, and flourishes in the
hipster scene. The me who loves her iPhone and her MacBook Pro and hangs out in
coffee shops to catch all the local poetry slams.
This version of me is going to end up buying her downtown
condo to raise her only child daughter and her pair of kittens. Her daughter
will have a very clear sense of self. Art and Logic go together, without the
two there will be no balance. She is creatively fulfilled.
Each of these pictures make up a part of me; my insecurities
stem from the idea that I can’t be each of these people, that I have to choose
one and only one.
I shouldn’t have to choose. I should be free to be the most
amazing version of myself that I can dream up. No one should ever feel like
they have to compromise a piece of them in order to be something else.
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