#My500Words Challenge: Day 3

Today’s challenge talked about how the best time to write is first thing in the morning when there are no distractions. I definitely think that is a nice idea; there is something about the calm quiet of the outside world that makes it easier to reconcile the sounds of story playing out in one’s head. I have always been a morning person, but I think getting up before 5:30 only works if there is a journey to be made via airplane.

I had in Institute teacher tell me once that you can accomplish everything you need to simply by waking up an hour earlier than normal. That would work for most people, but for me that would mean waking up at 4:50am. I tried that one summer so that I could run three miles everyday. The outside world was dark, quiet, and still 70 degrees (totally not okay for July).  The streets were deserted. I liked it. Well, the first few times I liked it. After a week or two I just felt alone in the world. Disconnected even. It was a daunting experience, which is most likely the real reason why I stopped going, even though I blamed it on the cold weather. No one enjoys feeling disconnected, not even the most introverted of all introverts.

Anyway, while the rule was not effective in applied to exercise, I still don’t think it would apply to writing. I think writing in the morning would still be ideal, just not at the absolute crack of dawn. Perhaps just making an effort to write a page or two before 10am would suffice. Although, writing isn’t my problem right now, my concept is what’s getting in my way.

My first novel had a leading man named Boston, and the sequel/companion novel is about him, therefore I reference it as Boston’s book. This summer I also came up with an idea for a more religious-themed story that is now being referenced as The Faith Project. I’m struggling so much to figure out the point of these stories, and it’s making me crazy. Maybe that’s the true reason why I wanted to take this 30-day challenge, to figure out what it is that I’m trying to say.

I’m a little lost right now, I’m not gonna lie. Recent heartbreak has left me unmotivated, uninspired, and unfulfilled. What am I going to do? How can I know what to say when I don’t even really believe in myself right now? I’ve lost pieces of myself and I’m not sure if I want them back. I’m stuck at a fork in the road. One road will help me recover those pieces, and the other will help me find brand new ones. It’s the age-old idea of “who you are is part of who you will become.” But I can’t help but wonder what my time limit is for waiting at this fork. When do I have to decide? Eventually, I’ll just get tired of waiting.